Feel the Burn

If you want to get in shape, skip the gym and just have yourself a kid.  I've only been a dad for 3 months but I'm already in the best shape of my life.  Granted, that's not saying much.  I've never been much of an athlete (unless you count playing Madden, which I do), and have had the build of a high school freshman through my twenties and beyond.  However, the steady baby lifting program that Grace has put me on is having major results.  Now I'm built like a high school sophomore after a growth spurt, albeit one with significantly less hair.

Grace is an awesome personal trainer, determined to push me to my physical limits every single day.  It's a severe approach but it certainly works.  To show you what I mean, here's a typical workout routine.



Downstairs Carry - Every day starts bright and early with a warm-up, a short seated feeding followed by a trip down the stairs.  This full body exercise combines resistance training with a decided emphasis on technique, since my workout gear is socks and the stairs are treacherously slippery.

Swing Squats - A great lower body test, where I put my calves, hamstrings and lower back to work placing and removing Grace in and out of her swing chair.  At least 10 up and down reps daily.

Car Seat Dead Lifts - Pure upper body power is called for to pick up a 13 pound baby in a 12 pound car seat and carry the pair to the car from the house then back again.  A set of stairs to negotiate in the middle of each rep really brings on the burn, while the lack of a spotter ups the intensity.

Playset Yoga - Late in the day it's time to get on the floor and focus on flexibility.  While Grace gets in some belly time exercise of her own, I'm right there next to her, awkwardly contorting to stay as close as possible to her while simultaneously staying out of her way.

Bathtub Row - Lifting then later emptying a tub filled with gallons of water is no joke, pushing my arms, back and chest to the limit.  Again, form is paramount, with any technical flaws reprimanded by a soaking.  Fortunately, this one's only part of the routine every other day.

Overhead Baby Press - Entertaining for her, muscle building for me.  My biceps, triceps, shoulders and chest get some work by picking Gracie up and playing airplane.

First Floor 5K - Last but not least, it's time for some cardio training in the evening.  In what's fast becoming her favorite task, Grace pleads until I pick her up and carry her from room to room so she can look at stuff.  It's really the perfect symbiotic exercise.  She gets to learn about the world around her, I get my heart rate up with a long walk while simultaneously working my arms, chest and back with some baby carrying weight training.  Easily an hour a night.

By the time Grace is too big to carry, I'm going to be ripped.  Of course, by then I'll be too tired to get off the couch, so the muscle will fade and before I know it, and it'll be time to have another kid so I can get back in shape.