Jiu Jitsu? I'm Going to Learn Jiu Jitsu?

For the most part, babies learn incrementally, picking up new skills bit by bit through trial and error.  For example, Grace has seemed to be on the verge of crawling for months, and is now at the point where she's got everything down except for actually moving forward.

Once in a while though, Grace seems to learn new things in giant leaps, as if they were downloaded directly into her brain like Keanu Reeves in The Matrix but if Keanu was a better actor.  Last Monday was one of those days.  From the moment Grace woke up, it was like she was a totally different person.

Our Little Author

My wife is an English teacher, a profession chosen because of a lifelong love for the written word.  So it should come as no surprise that telling Grace stories and teaching her how to read and write were among the thing's Carrie was most looking forward to upon becoming a parent.

It turns out, Grace is a very quick study.  This morning, mom sat baby in front of the computer to teach her a little about letters, numbers, cause and effect.  Enthralled by the keyboard and blank word document, Grace was filled with inspiration.  Within moments, she began putting word to digital page and authored her first story, which is hanging on our refrigerator at home and reproduced after the break for your enjoyment.

She's Hiding a Tunnel Behind a Justin Bieber Poster

Baby Grace got sent to the clink this morning.  Her crime, waking up too early for mom and dad.  Her punishment, 45 minutes of hard time.  She did get a single cell and a bunch of her toys since, like Andy Dufresne, she's helping the wardens take money from the government.  Here's a clip from her first day in juvi (or Joovy).

The Poop Rating Scale

No one tells you this before you become a parent, but as it turns out, one of your most important jobs as a caregiver is to monitor your baby's bowel movements.  How much?  How often?  What color and consistency?  Knowing the answers to these questions and recognizing when the answers change is of the utmost importance in monitoring a newborn's health.  The 1st signs of sickness can often be seen in an unusual number 2.

Now, I'm a mature, responsible man.  A husband and father, a homeowner, college educated with an accomplished professional resume.  I'm more than able to get past the grossness and take a clinical approach to doody duty.  Still, like every other man in the world, there's a part of me that still thinks and acts like a 13-year old, and having the daily opportunity to describe poops has been a delight to my less sophisticated sensibilities.  This combination of the need and want to talk openly, accurately and ridiculously about each and every excrement led to the creation of the Poop Rating Scale.

Fine Dining

I'm no foodie, as anyone who knows me will certainly attest.  Well into my late 20's, my idea of three square meals consisted of cookies for breakfast, a condiment-free, topping-free salami sandwich for lunch and fast food or a microwave meal for dinner.  To be honest, not a whole lot has changed now that I'm domesticated.  My wife has helped me turn the tide against McDinners and I'm good for a veggie every other day or so, but beyond that I'm still a nutritional lost cause.  I bring this up because Gracie already has a more adventurous palate and well-rounded diet than I do despite being less than five months old.