Baby Ninjitsu

As any parent would tell you, newborns have a seemingly infinite capacity to amaze you, and Grace is no exception.  Day after day I watch in wonder as she develops new skills like learning to coo and holding her head up.  Just the other day though, she unveiled a brand new trick that you won't find described in any baby book.

Grace was up for hours, clearly overtired and none too happy about it.  About an hour or so into her raging scream-a-thon, my wife Carrie and I had all but exhausted our arsenal of baby-calming tricks (feed her, change her, swaddle her, rock her, beg her).  Afraid the neighbors were going to call child services on us, we decided to turn to our final option, gripe water.

For the uninitiated, gripe water is a liquid colic remedy for infants made with fennel and ginger.  Since hot ginger tea is my preferred hangover remedy, I had high expectations for its soothing powers going into fatherhood, which were only bolstered when it immediately cured Grace's hiccups the first time we used it.

So with an apoplectic Grace cradled in Carrie's arms, I poured a half teaspoon of the miracle drug and slowly approached.  Now, administering liquid via spoon to an upset, uncooperative baby is no easy task.  You have to negotiate flailing arms and a moving mouth, plus get it in there between cries.  After patiently waiting for my opportunity, I saw an opening and pounced.  That's when Grace unveiled her inner ninja.

Adorable baby or silent assassin?

In the blink of an eye, Grace stopped crying, steadied herself, reached out and grabbed the handle of the spoon - WITHOUT SPILLING ANY OF THE GRIPE WATER.  For comparison, I spill milk all over my face each and every time I eat cereal, but my daughter can snatch a spoon out of midair with perfect precision.

Carrie and I stood frozen in awe as Grace's sharp, purposeful glare said what her voice cannot. "Not today old man.  Try that again and I will kung-fu you butt into oblivion."

Of course, as soon as I could free the spoon I gave her the medicine, icy eyes be damned.  After all, ninja skills or no she's still just a baby and I'm a whole lot bigger than her.

I just hope she's not plotting her vengeance.